


Lonely Love

by neverananghel



Series: Song Prompts [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: #XIUHANFOREVER, I'll Die With This Ship, M/M, broken!xiuhan, in lieu of luhan's dating news
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 14:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12322608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverananghel/pseuds/neverananghel
Summary: Their love ain’t good enough now.





	Lonely Love

**Author's Note:**

> \- I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP #XIUHANFOREVER  
> \- Part of the Song Prompts Collection: Seohyun – Lonely Love

One click.

 

That’s all it takes. It only takes just one click for everyone to know what he has to say—to drop a bomb that will surely be talked about the second he posts it. And he has no hesitations—he knows he has to do this; he owes it to his fans, to her, and to the world, because he doesn't want to hide a very important person in his life, someone who makes him smile and gives warmth to his usually cold world. Besides, he thinks, he wouldn't be truly manly if he goes back on his words.

 

So with that one click, he announces to the world his girlfriend, Guan Xiao Tong.

 

And as Xiaotong snuggles beside him, turning her head away from the camera but with a shy smile on her lips, he's happy.

 

He just can't help thinking of someone who used to make him feel like this.

 

\--

 

Coffee.

 

Soccer.

 

Whispering translations and other commentaries in his ear.

 

Shopping.

 

Staying close, always.

 

No space between them.

 

Who would've thought that these things would change?

 

They thought that their feelings would last, that they can survive any obstacle that was thrown in their way because they love each other. And, they thought, love is enough.

But it wasn’t.

 

Because love may be many things, but it’s not—and will not be— _everything._

 

Luhan remembers it all.

 

He remembers his first day at the company, sticking close to Yixing in the practice room staring at a slightly chubby boy across the room, wondering how such a tiny body could dance with such power.

 

He remembers Yixing introducing Luhan, and in turn, the chubby boy he’s been staring for the past hour smiled politely at him, and maybe, just _maybe_ , a little creeped out by his enthusiasm. He remembers talking to Minseok until they find common interests and bond over such interests.

 

He remembers late-night conversations after the grueling dance and vocal practices over ddeokbokki, and after a few years, over soju, over a beer. When they got back to the dorm, they talked under the sheets, spilling doubts, insecurities, and fear of an uncertain future. And he remembers hundreds of assurances, thousands of encouragements, millions of strength given to him from such a tiny man who looks even more delicate at him (sometimes).

 

Then there were the bright lights, here, there, everywhere, accompanied by screams of hundreds and thousands of people calling for his name, demanding for his attention when he couldn’t even attend to himself until he couldn't. He couldn’t take it anymore.

 

His company—his love—was not enough anymore. He couldn't take having little to no rest anymore, living half in the airport, half in luxurious hotel beds trying to calm his breathing and inhaling Minseok's scent beside him, finally asleep, trying to draw strength to face another day—of flashing lights and screams of thousands of people who expect a lot from him—from his anchor in these foreign lands, in his foreign identity.

 

So when Yifan left, he made up his mind.

 

And Minseok must've known—must’ve noticed the signs, his withdrawal, staring into space more and more, maybe even when he was searching for flight tickets to Beijing the minute Luhan thought that he was asleep--even before he told him. How could he not? Minseok knows Luhan better than he knows himself.

 

There was nothing left to do, fighting the inevitable so they did what they could. They cherished their moments together, slept in the same bed, skin to skin, and breathed the same air because time was running out.

 

When Luhan left, it was not received with as much hate as Yifan. He promised to keep in touch with all of them, but especially with him.

 

He can't believe how easy it was to just break those promises, throw them into the ground and stomp them with his foot, until all that was left was dust, to be swept away by the wind, lost. Forgotten.

 

They tried.

 

They tried so hard.

 

But Luhan just couldn't anymore.

 

He wants another body beside him, someone he can hug, someone he can kiss, someone he can touch, someone he can see with his eyes in flesh, not through a grainy computer screen. He wants Minseok beside him—he admits he became greedy.

 

He thinks that was where it went downhill.

 

Loving conversations turned into full-out arguments, shouting, screaming, insults, until it became just silence. They stopped talking, too tired fighting—so instead of speaking with each other, it became numerous numbers of missed calls, ignored texts, and rejected video calls.

 

So, they decided to end it. Because that was where it was going, right? Sooner or later, they'll arrive there, right?

 

_“I'm sorry, Minseok. But—”_

_A sigh. “It's just not working out. That's what you want to say, right, Han?”_

_He doesn't know what to reply to that, no words in his mind as an answer to that, so he just lets the silence linger between them. Suffocating, constricting silence._

_Another sigh, this one deeper, cutting through Luhan's heart._ It hurts.

_“I'm sorry, Han. I tried. And I know you tried, too. And I love you for that. I just... love you. So, so much. But I guess my love's not good enough now, right?”_

_He hears Minseok chuckle, the sound haunting, and incredibly sad. He wants to refute Minseok, tell him that his love is enough, that he's enough, because Luhan loves him too, but his words choke him up, his eyes tearing up._

_“Thank you, Han. I'm sorry,” a muffled sob, a deep breath, “I'm sorry that—that—we… didn't work out.”_

_Luhan finds his voice then—distraught and incredibly pained because he doesn’t want this but he knows he can’t help it—saying, “Minseok, you’re breaking my heart.”_

_Another chuckle, this one even sadder than before. Tears escape from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks, his face crumpling._ It hurts so much.

_He grasps the part of his shirt just above his chest, hoping to alleviate the pain even just a little. His breaths come in stutters, and he can't see well anymore, his vision blurred with tears._

_What hurts the most is that he knows that Minseok's doing them—him—a favor, actually. He's brave enough—strong enough—to say the words that have been rolling around Luhan's mind for a long time now._

_One more sigh. “Mine, too, Han. Mine, too. Go—goodbye.”_

_The call ends._

_Luhan crumples to the floor, and just—cries._

 

\--

 

It's been a little more than a year since then. And he's happy.

 

He has his fans, larger and more dedicated than before now that he doesn't share them with 11 other people. His career is continuously rising—his albums are selling well, performing in various stages and guesting on a lot of shows—going as far as being dubbed as the Chinese Justin Bieber.

 

And now, he has someone who's by his side who warms the lonely parts of his life.

 

He just hopes that somewhere in South Korea, a certain someone is happy, too.

 

\--

 

Minseok's just finished showering when his phone chimes from the bedside table, signaling that a message came in.

 

He dresses quickly, sitting on his bed when he's done and grabbing his phone from its spot.

 

It's a message from Yixing.

 

_“Hyung, you okay?”_

 

_Ah_. That must be it.

 

Luhan's dating news, or in South Korea, his dating scandal.

 

A simple Weibo post that announced to the world that Lu Han, Chinese singer, actor, and one of China's most handsome faces, is now dating.

 

When he saw the news a little before going into the shower through mindless scrolling in Naver, he admits that he felt a pang. Like when you remove the cover of a wound that has just clotted—painful but not so much. Bearable.

 

Yixing really shouldn't have worried. _He's fine._

 

He's about to reply to Yixing's message when he hears knocks on his door, followed by a careful call of _“hyung”_ outside. This time of the night, there is usually just one person who dares to disturb him when he’s preparing for bed.

 

Minseok smiles.   _Jongin._

 

So he shouts through the door, “Come in!”

 

He places his phone back on the bedside table just as Jongin opens the door a little, only until his eyes showing, searching for something.

 

When he spots Minseok, he opens the door completely, stepping inside Minseok's room slowly, clad in a black tank top and sweats, and hugging a pillow in his arms. Jongin's pouting, the way he always does when he's sleepy but isn't comfortable enough to actually sleep.

 

  _Cute._

 

“ _Hyung_ ,” Jongin starts tentatively, blinking some of the drowsiness away, “can I sleep beside you tonight?”

 

And who is Minseok to resist that?

 

Instead of a verbal reply, Minseok just smiles at Jongin, settling on the bed and patting the space beside him, beckoning the younger man to come.

 

Jongin flops on Minseok’s bed eagerly, immediately positioning his head under Minseok's chin, wiggling to get the most comfortable position making his _hyung_ chuckle at his antics.

 

Minseok wraps his arms around Jongin's middle, happy to have someone beside him. A few seconds of silence is enough to lull him into a state of half-consciousness, the activities of the day finally catching up to him, exhaustion settling into his aging body.

 

He’s ready to shut his eyes and fall asleep, when Jongin speaks up, instantly bringing him back to consciousness, “ _Hyung_ , you okay?”

 

_Yixing, that brat. He knows I have a soft spot for Jongin. He'll pay for this._

 

Instead of directly answering Jongin’s question, Minseok hums, “What makes you think I'm not, Jongin-ah, hmm?”

 

Jongin tenses beside him as if caught.

 

_Definitely Yixing._

 

Not giving a chance for the younger male to answer, Minseok speaks, “Honestly? I'm really fine You—and Yixing—don’t have to worry.”

 

He cards his fingers through Jongin's hair, brushing the parts that are not pressed against him until Jongin releases the tension from his body. He continues, “I admit, it hurt when I saw the news, especially the picture. I couldn’t help thinking, 'We were like that, too. We were happy like that.' I can't prevent the memories coming back. You know we have a lot of that.

 

“But, you know what Jongin, I always knew—that Luhan wouldn't stay. He has so many ambitions—a lot of goals, a lot of things he wants to achieve—to stay under a spotlight that he has to share when he knows he can have it for himself. Yifan's departure just sped it up.

 

“I enjoyed our time together, but that's over now. I can't keep hurting myself by living in the past now, can I, Jongin?”

 

He pokes Jongin's stomach, causing the younger male to giggle and move away Minseok's hand. They remain silent for a few moments, Minseok's words left in the air.

 

A few seconds more pass when Jongin turns around to face Minseok, laying a warm hand against his cheek, the action giving warmth all over his body, “You're right, _hyung_. You're always right.” Jongin finishes with a cheeky grin, immediately burrowing against Minseok's chest, a little scared that his _hyung_ will do something in retaliation.

 

Minseok just snorts at his bandmate's antics. “Brat.”

 

With Jongin settled and falling asleep within minutes, heavy breaths in place, Minseok feels his eyes drooping. After a few more seconds, he drifts to dreamland.

 

He sleeps with a smile on his face, because with Jongin by his side, and his other brothers, of course, he _knows_ , he'll be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I won't ever stop writing XiuHan. I love them, they're my number 1 OTP. As long as I have a prompt that I want to write, I'll write them. ~~Give me XH prompts plez~~
> 
> 2\. NOTICE THE XIUKAI. LOVE THE XIUKAI. WRITE MORE XIUKAI.
> 
> 3\. Scream at me on Twitter! [@cheonsassime](https://www.twitter.com/cheonsassime)


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